Top 31 Signs of a Toxic Mother

Qasim Adam
10 min readJan 13, 2022
Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash

Are you the child of a toxic mother?

Do you often feel like you can’t win, that no matter what you do, it’s never good enough?

You’re not alone.

Toxic mothers use a variety of manipulative tactics to control their children, and unless you know what to look for, it can be difficult to break free.

No one ever plans to have a toxic mother. It’s something that just happens, often without warning. If you have a toxic mother, you know how destructive and emotionally damaging she can be.

In this post, we’ll list the 31 most common signs of a toxic mother so that you can start to identify the patterns in your own life. Once you know what to look for, it will be easier to take steps towards building a better relationship with yourself and creating the life you deserve.

31 Signs of a Toxic Mother

1. She tries to control your decisions

Toxic mothers often try to usurp the role of authority in their children’s lives, even when they’re an adult. This can include everything from telling you which friends you should have around, how to decorate your home, what clothes you should wear, to what subjects you should study in college. Toxic mothers may also micromanage the way you care for your children, or even how you cook dinner.

2. She denies her love for you

If a mother truly loves her child, she will often readily and eagerly express that love. A toxic mother will rarely make such declarations; in fact, she may even tell you that she doesn’t love you or actively express dislike for you. Don’t take it personally; this is just her way of exerting control over the relationship.

3. She makes up rules on the fly

Toxic mothers often have a bad habit of making new rules for everything — from how to load the dishwasher, to what subjects you can and can’t study in college. By keeping her child constantly on the back foot and not sure of what to expect next, she exerts a greater degree of control over them.



Qasim Adam

Blogger, author, and freelancer. Top writer on Medium in Love, Life Lessons, Psychology, Parenting, and Relationships.