Deal with a Toxic Mother Like a Therapist: 31 Top Tips

Qasim Adam
11 min readJan 14, 2022
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

If your mother is toxic, you know the feeling. It’s like there’s a dark cloud that hangs over everything.

You never feel good enough, and you always feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Relationships with other family members can be strained, and it feels hard to trust anyone.

If you’re a child of a toxic mother or have a relative who is, you know how difficult it can be to deal with her. She may be manipulative, critical, and withholding.

You may feel like you can never please her. Or she may be verbally or physically abusive. No matter what your situation is, it’s important to learn how to cope.

If this sounds like your life, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Therapists have 31 great tips on how to do just that. Keep reading for their advice.

1. Acknowledge that your mother is a toxic parent

This may be difficult to hear, but to begin healing from having a toxic mother, you will need to accept the truth about her. Your mom may not be a bad person deep down, but she has hurt you — and it’s OK for you to feel angry about that.

2. Recognize your mother is not the center of the universe

It’s easy to believe that everything revolves around her — and you probably feel like anything good is her doing, but anything bad is your fault. This isn’t true. The truth will set you free: she is not always right; she does not deserve all your admiration, love, and respect; she is not the only person entitled to be happy or sad.

Most importantly, you are not responsible for her emotions. It’s important to realize that it’s OK for her to have problems with other people besides you — happiness often boils down to being able to accept life as it is, not how we’d like it to be.

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

3. Imagine your mother as a child

This one is not easy, but if you can try to put yourself in her shoes and imagine what she may have been going through at the time, it…



Qasim Adam

Blogger, author, and freelancer. Top writer on Medium in Love, Life Lessons, Psychology, Parenting, and Relationships.